


The paths we chose

by hiddendaisy1821



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Dark!Fitz, F/M, FitzSimmons - Freeform, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra, Leo Fitz & Skye | Daisy Johnson Friendship, Leo Fitz-centric, Role Reversal, Skyeward - Freeform, fitzward - Freeform, hydra!Fitz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 02:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6265567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddendaisy1821/pseuds/hiddendaisy1821
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'While a SHIELD agent is considering right and wrong, HYDRA's already taken a shot.' What if you had not one, but two individuals agree on that aka Ward wasn't the only one working undercover for HYDRA. </p><p>Another ff.net transfer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well here goes my attempt at a multi-chapter Shield fic. It's an AU mostly told from Fitz's point of view. It's my answer to the question what if Ward wasn't alone when he infiltrated SHIELD. What if there was someone else with him? And how would that affect the story? Read and find out, and drop me a line if you like it!

-oo-

"There are no wrong turnings. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk."  
― Guy G. Kay

**Chapter 1**

He felt the blood run down his finger and in wonder, more than anything else, he traced it with his other. How little was needed for people to bleed. Still, he had tried for a long time to make a difference and this was his first real opportunity to do so. As his mentor used to say – when it came to science there was a bigger pain in not knowing then living with the consequences of the action that lead to immediate pain. The cause did not matter as long as the answer was achieved.

In all his years studying he couldn't find the truth in that statement. Maybe that's why he was here, pushing forward despite many who chose otherwise. He was trying to find that bigger truth that would justify his actions and deeds.

Many thought that he wouldn't be able to handle the pressure but he was still here when many have fallen. He won't be the one.

Distracted by the dull noise he recognized as a duffel bag being placed on his table he looked up at the source of the noise. In front of him stood a rather stoic young man around his age and there ended all the similarities they shared. The man before him was an agent in the making if not one already.

"Hello. How may I help you?"

The young man looked back at the row of tables filled with young intern scientists and then turned back to him.

"Need someone who's going to be in charge of my gear and any important equipment I may need in the future. Do you fit the bill?"

Fitz felt the swell of pride that someone actually thought of him as good enough to be a capable supporter. He couldn't help but say, "I am to be Q to your Bond?"

He looked at him as impassive as before but a small smile tugged on his lips before he answered.

"I will try to bring them back in one piece."

Fitz felt his own smile stretch and he moved to collect the items from the bag. He whistled in wonder.

"You've got some grade A stuff here, but no worries, I can make them better."

The man nodded in approval.

"That is good to know."

With that he felt some of the awkwardness lift as he inspected the gear. He was in his element.

"Yes well, this is only a Shield prototype. It may be above what you can find on the market but still not up to snuff for our needs."

He heard young man chuckle and sit down in an empty chair.

"I'm agent Ward."

He glanced up to acknowledge that he heard him and responded in kind.

"I am junior scientist Leo Fitz. Just Fitz. So I am in charge of your toys from now on?"

He regarded Ward carefully hoping he will finally have someone to provide support for. Ward in return nodded and looked back towards the other scientists.

"They looked rather mundane for what I need."

He only looked on as Ward explained his reasons for choosing him.

"You seem to be the kind that can think outside the box and being the only one who doesn't wear a white coat helps. I hate people who try so hard to fit into neat little boxes. That is not what we stand for."

He could only nod. Fitz had to admit he didn't expect such an elaborate answer. Agents here were really something else.

"I have a lot to prove and I will try not to let you down agent Ward."

He wanted to justify the choice Ward made. That somehow he was worth it.

"Let's hope for both our sakes that you don't. We will be under a lot of pressure for the next operation I hear. The young talent from this facility will be the first to try the successful infiltration."

Yes, he had heard something along those lines and he couldn't help but feel excited and scared at the same time.

"I am confident we will succeed Fitz, no matter what the cost."

He stood up to leave before shaking his hand.

"It was nice meeting you Fitz. Here's to a long and successful partnership."

Fitz could only shake his hand in return and answer with a confidant salute.

"Yes sir. Hail HYDRA."

Agent Ward answered the same and moved away from his station.

Maybe he was too young and inexperienced but he will damn well try to keep up. They had to if they wanted to protect the world. Nobody else had the courage to do what was necessary but organization like HYDRA was here to show the world that there are those who can and who will.

He looked back at his finger which had stopped bleeding but the numbness had taken its place. This mission will prove if he can withstand the pain and become numb to it or succumb to it all and fail in what they have set out to do. Time will tell.

-oo-

 **AN** : There you have it. This chapter was more of a prologue, next one will be longer I promise. I have most of the story planned out so if guys like it I'm hoping to update pretty regularly. Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

-oo—

**Chapter 2**

Fitz placed down now a decimated looking piece of machinery. It will be the seventh one this month that Ward had destroyed. So much for keeping his gear in check. Although he didn't mind, it kept his mind busy and away from thoughts that surfaced every now and then.

Thoughts like why they were so covert when they could join forces with the likes of Shield and make some better judgments for both organizations. He felt a bit disjointed every time he saw them interrogating Shield agents and brainwashing them of their former cause. It was all necessary they would say if he asked, all for a noble cause.

Still at night, his consciousness didn't seem to agree so he pushed it all in the back of his mind. Because Shield didn't want him in the academy but HYDRA did. They took him when he was charged of helping a man build a machine that was not up to regulations of the academy. Accused him, even though he wasn't even in the vicinity of the said project. Still lately he couldn't help but wonder if maybe all of it was a trap and a ploy from HYDRA to take him for their cause. But then again maybe he had too much free time on his hands and was probably just imagining things.

A sudden hit brought him back from his reverie as he saw a water bottle slide from his chest and he quickly moved to stop it. Looking at the offender on the other side of the table he grimaced and sulked in return.

"Throwing things now at me Ward? It isn't enough that you destroy my equipment on regular basis on the missions, but now you have to attack my person as well."

Ward only shrugged and took a sip from his own bottle.

"What can I say Fitz - keeping you on your toes, otherwise you grow complaisant."

Again with his little lessons. He had a feeling that Ward was a giant fan of those Japanese movies where everything was a philosophical anecdote. He glared at him and looked at his pending workload.

"Get off of your high horse Ward. We both know that without my gear you'd be toast a thousand times over."

He laughed at Fitz and turned in his chair, swirling like he didn't have a care in the world.

"As if."

He and Ward were a rather impressive team. Sure they sometimes had their tiffs but most of the time they worked well together and he had a feeling they were climbing the corporate ladder so to speak.

Ward was getting noticed more and more as an agent that can get the job done no matter the consequences and even though that didn't sit well with him Fitz was glad to help out a friend in his venture.

He felt as though it was through Ward's efforts that they were getting recognized rather than his own but he was fine with that. Spotlight never suited him anyways.

"Fitz, are you even listening to me?"

He snapped his head towards him and just waved his hand. It wasn't like it was the first time that it happened and probably not the last. His mind had a tendency to run away from him and he spaced out from time to time.

"What?"

He saw Ward absently taking apart the gun he usually takes with him on missions and put it together in a couple of seconds. The man was a monster when it came to efficiency, even he had to admit that.

"It's too heavy, lose the ounce."

A growl escaped Fitz, because Ward usually had ludicrous demands like this one on daily basis. Probably comes with the territory of being Bourne and Bond all wrapped up in one. It went to his head what can he say, but he was good so he tolerated it. Didn't mean he had to like it.

"That aside, did you hear the news?"

He shook his head.

"Nope, was pretty much a lab rat in the last couple of days. Had a lot to do. What is it now?"

Ward only rolled his eyes at his antics and turned his attention to the gun.

"Well it looks like you and I are going to be assigned undercover in the special Shield team lead by Phil Coulson himself. It is going to be big and we are going to have front row seats for it. Are you ready?"

He knew something like this would happen soon enough but he never thought that it would also mean that he would go with Ward. He always thought that he would work from the sidelines. Guess that wasn't the case anymore.

"We are going to infiltrate the group by pushing our credentials with a little bit of a spin on them, because Coulson likes his agents not all by the book, and we'll give him just enough so he takes the bait."

Fitz knew that most of his work would be scrutinized there and he needed to be on guard at all times if they were to succeed. But he was also excited to finally see what was so bad about Shield that HYDRA demanded their downfall before taking the rains.

"I guess HYDRA has it all planned out then Ward."

He only nodded and left his weapon to check on the small knives that were aligned neatly beside it.

"Yeah. You and I can come out of this with a lot of valuable intelligence. Maybe even be the ones who bring down Coulson and his team. I'd be down with that."

Bringing anyone down didn't sit well with Fitz but he didn't have any other choice so for now he will study the enemy and learn.

He really wasn't looking forward to more sleepless nights.

-oo-

The hanger was huge, it had the space to accommodate for dozens of smaller planes or a couple of bigger ones. He was surprised at the sight of how things were so well developed in an organization like Shield and he was once more reminded of how intricate things were between the two organizations.

As covert as HYDRA was, it still followed similar protocol and procedures when addressing and recruiting their agents in assignments. It felt all too familiar when it came to being in the place but he felt somehow the camaraderie that always seemed to lack at HYDRA which made him once more question why they were doing this in the first place.

Sure it was the orders from the higher ops and he being the grunt in all of this had little to no say. Still he and Ward were in this mess and they would have to deal with it, perhaps it was more than just a simple assignment everyone had tried to pass it as. He just knew there was more to it.

Taking his belongings that he stuffed in a small bag he took towards the ominous looking plane. It was probably the most advanced plane in the hanger and was looking like some next gen type of prototype they did in HYDRA but never on such a large scale. He was intrigued by what he could learn about it once he gets inside.

Stepping onto the plane the first thing he noticed was a shiny red convertible and he was surprised at the condition it was in. It was very well taken care of as if the owner valued it more than most people do.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ward make his way inside the plane. A slight eye contact and a nod were enough to propel him forward with their task. He took in the small cargo area and could see that this was going to be rather impressive op led by agent Coulson which was not that far of the way HYDRA approached things. Still HYDRA did theirs with the highest level of professionalism and narcissism for their cause.

The thing that caught his eye was a fully equipped lab that was just ahead of the cargo area and it looked like something out of a syfy movie, and he couldn't help but be impressed with the detail and dedication to it.

"Oh my God!"

There was a shrink and in the next moment he dropped his bag, cold sweat already on his forehead. Thoughts about how he was already discovered were floating around his head, but soon someone passed him and walked inside the said lab.

"Isn't it beautiful? Look, they even have the newest centrifuge sample collectors. Been waiting for ages to get my hands on one of these."

He could see her walking around inspecting everything in her sight and he just couldn't form anything. He was speechless at this person in front of him. She turned towards him all excitement and radiance over the place before her. An apologetic look was on mirroring her gaze and words tumbled out of her mouth.

"I am so sorry. I tend to get overly excited when it comes to science and this lab is completely marvelous."

She continued to sing its praise and was quickly stunned as she gathered herself and looked him over more closely.

"You seem familiar, have we met before? Maybe it was on the campus or in the Shield academy. You just look awfully familiar to me."

All he managed to mumble was an unconvincing lie.

"Must have one of those faces. Generic and such."

She hummed absently and nodded along not as convinced as he would've wanted her. He hoped she would let it go. Because how could he not know the one and only Jemma Simmons, biochemist extraordinaire, top of her class, best of her generation when it came to biochemistry and a rather impressive physicist at that.

He had the privilege to attend a class with her at Shield academy before they booted him out because of his 'experiment malpractice'. Before he could embarrass himself any further Ward came in trying to introduce himself but she did it for him before he got a chance.

"Agent Ward the solo operative chosen to tag along with us. Hopefully you don't find yourself to crowded by the science in here."

She turned her head towards him and asked him apologetically, "Uh… so sorry didn't catch your name before."

That was because he hadn't given it to her.

"Leo Fitz, engineering."

She still regarded him as if she was trying to decipher something important but was soon distracted by Ward when he asked where his bunk was.

She guided them both to the upper floor and quickly directed them to their bunks.

"There you can leave your stuff here and if you want a tour of the bus, I came up with that, just say so and I will guide you through with extensive detail. Now, I leave you to unpack."

She walked away and Fitz absently placed his stuffed bag in the small space, while Ward was quickly to point out, "Don't freeze like that, she will assume something is wrong. You have to keep your head in the game. Also, you look like you know her. Keep it under wraps either way; we can't have that kind of exposure."

He nodded in agreement.

"You don't have to tell me that. I know what's at stake. Just thought I wouldn't be seeing her. Caught me by surprise."

He heard Ward shuffling his own belongings before addressing him.

"Make sure it doesn't happen again."

He highly doubted it; there was just something about her. He didn't remember much from academy but her he remembered. As vividly as she was standing before him today.

He shook his head to clean his thoughts. This won't lead to anything good.

-oo-

The first thing he liked was the friendly but efficient atmosphere that was constant on the plane. This operation would be impressive and instantly he felt like he was fitting in and being a valuable part of the team.

Pleased with his arrangement, he found Ward in one of the chairs, lounging and nursing a drink.

"It's not even noon and you already needed a stiff one."

He was greeted with a rather unnerved glare and a motion for him to sit down.

"Fitz, no matter what situation we are in, try to keep a cool head and follow my lead if possible. I know you don't have much experience in these kinds of things but we need to make it work."

Ward spoke as if there weren't plenty of daunting and maybe even more demanding tasks behind him. Hard and demanding experiments and thesis that he had managed to conduct and he will try his dimmest not to fail at this one as well.

"Yeah yeah, no need to remind me for a hundredth time. I know what to do."

He regarded Ward for a moment and then said, "It is you that is not blending in. I heard you were in a bit of a tiff with Coulson because you were angered to be working in a team and not all by your lonesome."

Ward only placed his drink on the table and looked out the small window.

"I needed to cause conflict because that is what my file says. He wouldn't expect from me to go along with whatever he had planned without some friction. It works in my favor so to speak."

He heard footsteps before he saw Ward go from a perceptive into a rather emotionless mask. Soon someone was standing next to them.

"Agent Ward, Fitz. I believe we found our first something, agent May will be there to canvass the area for any residual evidence, and you'll be helping her Ward. Fitz, you will be working with Simmons on this one. You're both scientists, I am sure you will find a common language."

No sooner had he finished his speech, he was already making his way to the front of the plane. Ward finished his drink only to see that Fitz was pouring himself a glass and quickly downing it. He looked at him curiously and Fitz only grimaced.

"I'll need it."

With that he walked away from his partner in crime and moved down towards the cargo area and the lab. It was time to face Jemma Simmons and make it seem natural. He was thankful for the strong drink but he felt he was screwed either way.

The lab door opened to reveal the said scientist placing whatever devices she could into the large duffel bag in front of her. She glanced at him and continued with her task.

"One might think I am over-preparing for our first case, but a lot of unknowns are in it and I don't know what we will actually need." she said with a light shrug and a smile at her own actions, before returning to place a small box inside with extreme care. Must be something sensitive.

"So I'm taking everything. What about you?"

She was zipping the bag and he felt that he needed to hurry up if he wanted to make it in time and not embarrass himself for the up tenth time on this mission. He quickly went to where the tracking and tracing equipment was and quickly looked over the scanners, before taking the bag that she had come to offer him.

"Thanks, I'll be quick about it."

It was time for work, later he can over think his actions in here.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

To say that his field of work leaves much do be desired was an understatement. He felt comfortable among gadgets and general engineering but working among other people still put him on edge.

He liked to think that he did a decent job analyzing the crime scene, but he also felt that all the time he was there that everyone was looking at him suspiciously. He was being paranoid he knew but just couldn't help it otherwise.

Now he was wiping the sweat of his brow and placing the duffel bag on the table while reminiscing on this case. Sure they had handled the situation poorly but they were new to it all, training wheels were still on.

The amazing thing was that he and Jemma were on the same wave length. He knew she was good but to really understand things as a scientist to that level impressed him to no end. She was really something else, but he couldn't let things like a perfect person distract him from what he and Ward have come here to do.

He heard the door open and saw her timid entrance followed with an independent hacker, member of the Rising Tide, who helped them today. That hacker happened to be a she. Skye.

"Hello."

His social skills left much to be desired but somehow he always felt at ease when Jemma was near and now was no different. He really was a coward.

"Hey."

Well, their response wasn't any less awkward then his was.

"So you two are like the mad scientists with the knowledge that could destroy the world? Kinda cool."

He smiled in return, already liking her cheerful person. She was a newbie in the real sense when it came to Shield and so was he. In that he felt a sort of kinship towards her.

"Just don't let the bad guys know. We are the real threat to national security."

She laughed at his miserable attempt at comedy and he appreciated her effort. In the meantime Jemma had moved to stand beside him and was already sorting out on the computer the information they had gathered today. He looked at Skye who was pretty much looking lost in the small lab, and after a moment he nudged Jemma with his foot under the table as she looked at him in question.

When he had her attention he nudged his head in Skye's direction while mouthing to Jemma 'Do something'. She shook her head a bit in indecision and whispered 'What?' He shrugged his shoulders before turning towards Skye who was looking at them amused by their covert display.

"You guys know I'm here right?"

They shared an embarrassed laugh before he motioned at his gear.

"Want to see something cool?"

She just nodded her head and smiled at his attempt to engage her with them.

"Sure, why not."

He pulled out his little tracking drones and activated them. He motioned at his laptop for her to come and look at the screen.

"Okay, so as demonstrated before I can fly them remotely or let them do the job themselves all the while scanning and gathering data around them, but they can do much more than that. You can guide them in a hotspot area and let them do the hacking for you. I can easily take the complete control of camera feeds in a matter of seconds and from then you can easily do some serious damage."

Skye looked fascinated and impressed and just nodded along. He figured she didn't understand how they all worked mechanically but the computer side could keep her attention.

"That is brilliant."

He heard from his side Jemma say and felt his breath catch. Her praise meant a lot to him, because she understood the effort behind it. She nudged him with her shoulder and smiled as he smiled in return lost to the light feeling she made him feel. Skye already forgotten.

"Should I give you guys a moment?"

They snapped from their little moment and jumped away from each other.

"What, no... no."

He put his hands in shaking motion in front of him to deny everything that happened and he felt Jemma do pretty much the same.

"No need for anything here. Nothing is happening."

Skye was clearly not convinced, so he walked around her and moved out of the lab, but not before looking back at the two confused girls. He glanced at Jemma and saw her own discomfort reflect in her eyes but he just had to get out of here.

"I just need to check on Ward's gear he didn't give for inspection."

With that he walked away and into the upper deck to meet Ward who was quietly discussing something with agent May. Melinda May, if anyone was a certified badass on this plane it had to be her. The Calvary as Ward called her sometimes.

Seeing a rather distressed look on Fitz, Ward excused himself and walked up towards him. He set on one of the chairs and waited for him to join.

"What is it? You look like you've just been interrogated by an entire KGB squad."

He only looked at him before letting a slow breath. He kept screwing up and getting distracted and that would not do.

"Sorry, just having a tough time fitting in. Also I came here to inspect your gear if anyone asks."

An obvious lie, but it was all he could come up with. He could not tell Ward how close he was to believing this was all real and that it could last. That he fit in here better than he ever did with those scientists at HYDRA compound.

"Another elaborate lie on your side I'm sure. Fitz, keep your head cool. I know it is hard but you have to do it. With time it will be get easier."

He nodded his head but more out of a habit then actual understanding. He was close to losing his grip on it all and they've just started this. Before he could respond he saw Coulson move towards them and swiftly address Ward.

"You are going to teach Skye how to defend herself properly Ward. Can't have our consultant dying on the next outing we have. Are we clear? Lose the sour face."

At that exact moment Skye came in and he could see Wards' reaction to it all, in part annoyance, anger and dissipation but also curiosity.

It looked as if he wasn't the only one affected.

-oo-


	4. Chapter 4

-oo-

**Chapter 4**

He was tinkering once more on his newest experiment all the while hearing a steady stream of punches from the front where Ward was trying to ease Skye into the art of competence or something. Mostly it was Ward being stoic and business like while Skye was taking jabs at his already stern persona. It was quite funny to watch, a good distraction because he was growing tired from thinking about the small chip in front of him.

Soon he saw Ward enter the lab, Skye following him. As much as he felt they had no time or place to discuss how their respective assignments were going he was happy not to. Because, then he would have to tell Ward that he was having doubts about everything, the foundation of all his beliefs was slowly crumbling and he wasn't ready to form an opinion on anything for a fact.

"You haven't managed one solid punch and all you do is nag so why are you still around?"

Skye only laughed at Ward's sour mood.

"Because of your charming persona, no offence Ward."

She moved to inspect the gear on the far end and leave her gloves there. Ward only glared at her back and when he saw Fitz fighting back a smile he rolled his eyes at him. He liked how Skye always kept Ward on his toes and out of his comfort zone and he was sure somewhere deep done Ward agreed.

Because underneath that entire heavy exterior, he doubted his mission as much as Fitz did, he was sure of it. Being an agent only gave him an upper hand in dealing with it without looking like a lost animal waiting for someone to show him the way. Fitz decided to just go along with it.

"I do have a charming personality, you on the other hand leave much to be desired."

He spread out his hands looking baffled at them turning on him.

"Really, even you will side with Skye. I thought you had my back man."

Fitz only shook his head as Skye came to join in the banter.

"Yeah, no. I'm the charming one, can't be seen with the likes of you."

Skye laughed and just joined in.

"Yes Fitz and I need to stick together so you don't fall of the deep end and lose what little sense of personality you have. We have to show you the way."

Ward only let out an exhausted sigh and turned to leave the lab.

"Yeah, a way to my deathbed."

When he was gone, the awkward silence soon followed. He was still not used to being alone with any of them. Always afraid he would slip up.

"So, what's the deal between you and Jemma?"

That was one question he never expected.

"Eh, what?"

She was looking rather expectantly at him and he was still dumb folded by the entire situation. Not knowing what to say was just one of the things on his mind.

"Yeah, I see the way you look at her and more importantly the connection that is there. Can't fake that."

He quickly busied himself with the chip that had stood there long forgotten and appeared to be working, only replaying briefly, "I don't know what you mean."

Skye only smiled at him and before she could take another jab at him he decided to turn the spotlight on her.

"What about you Skye? The same goes for you and Ward."

She took a step back and just stood and watched him for a moment before whispering.

"Touché."

He quickly glanced back in her direction in astonishment. He didn't think she would actually admit to it.

"Wait, hold on. So there is actually something going on?"

She was lost in her own thoughts and then a panicked look came on her face as she realized what she said.

"I mean no, uh, that wasn't what I meant. I..uh.."

He only continued to watch as she went from panic mode to hyperventilating in the matter of seconds. She quickly came towards him and grabbed him by the shoulders, a pleading look now residing on her face. How she managed to go so fast through the motion is beyond him.

"Okay… okay. There maybe is something, Like an itsy bitsy tiny thing. Not even worth talking about, especially not mentioning to Ward. It's so miniscule there should be no mention whatsoever to anyone, but especially Ward. Okay, Fitz?"

He only wanted to divert her attention from him and Jemma, but this had blown up that he didn't know what to say or do, so he just nodded. She gave him a relieved smile and made a shush' motion before quickly leaving the lab.

He stood there for a couple of seconds, still holding the chip in his hand, trying to grasp it all. Not a minute later he said what was on his mind.

"What just happened here?"

The fact that he was alone in the lab didn't make him feel any better.

He walked back to the bunks and before he went to his he saw Ward lounging in his. He tossed him a small tennis ball, before asking him.

"What's up, you seem a bit dazed there Fitz?"

The ball dropped from his hand and he tossed him a flash drive. Ignoring the question he moved on to what was important.

"That is the code that will respond to the chip I had custom build and replaced one of Shield's that was on the server of the plane. He will serve as a back door for our cause. The compound should take that and be up and running as soon as possible. They will know everything that comes and goes to this plane. All the information, hotspots, connections to the branches, hidden sight, basically if we get anything from them our guys home will know it too."

Ward quickly stood up and took the small flash drive.

"Good job. I will arrange for them to pick it up on the next drop."

Even as he said that, Fitz felt as if he wasn't as pleased as he thought he'd be.

"Keep your focus on the goal, right Ward?"

Ward looked at him and after a moment the same emotionless mask slipped on, but he already read what was beneath it and he was feeling this task just got a lot more complicated.

"Right, Fitz. Good work."

With that he left and Fitz was left to ponder what it was that was slowly changing. He felt as if he was already on the shaky ground to begin with, but he never thought that Ward would be wavering in his resolve.

"Fitz?"

He turned around and there stood Jemma. As emotionally exhausted as he was he really didn't know if he could handle anything more.

"You know I felt like I had seen you before and I did some digging."

He really didn't like where this was going.

"You know, there was a student before on the academy, his spot was erased from the roster. I believed that it may be some mistake or something but the more I thought of it I found it weird that you didn't attend academy and yet you were chosen."

He laughed nervously, because if she asked Coulson he would tell her that he did because when they fabricated the evidence they only managed so much in the small time period they had. That was that if logged with Coulson's ID it would appear that he did attend the academy and was one of the best in engineering. Sure, he was one of the best but just not in that academy.

"Maybe you were chosen like Skye was, so I didn't want to pry." she said "I'm just being paranoid, aren't I?"

He looked at her hopeful face and didn't know what to tell her. So he decided not to say anything.

"I know. I'm so sorry, you probably don't want to talk about it. I just feel like I missed out on knowing you and I don't know why."

Before she could continue to ramble he said, "You can start now, Jemma."

She looked at him and smiled fondly at him. The warmth he felt whenever he was around her returned and it made his mind hazy, with it his control slipping.

"I suppose."

She grasped his hand and squeezed it for a second before letting go.

"Thanks for listening Fitz."

He smiled and nodded.

"Sure, anytime."

She left and he plumed into his bunk bed. Taking a deep breath he realized one thing.

He was screwed.

-oo-


	5. Chapter 5

-oo-

**Chapter 5**

Nobody should say Fitz had never tried being more than just a scientist. They should say he had failed marvelously at being anything more than a scientist. That is why he was currently looking at Simmons on the other side of the glass door, who apparently had some sort of an alien virus.

He couldn't shake the blame that had plagued him from the moment he came to the conclusion on what it was they were dealing with. That is why he was witnessing her trying to find a cure all the while he was helpless to do anything from this side. It angered him to no end. Things weren't looking up.

"Well, it looks like I'll have to take a rain check on getting to know you Fitz."

She was somber and defeated, and that would not help her find any solutions. He couldn't understand what made him do it if you ask him, he will deny it all the way. In that moment he knew one thing - he would do whatever it takes to keep her alive. The next moment he was typing the access code to get inside the lab.

Her bewildered face told him how stupid his action was, but he couldn't bring himself to care at this particular moment.

"No, no no you can't be in here Fitz."

He only looked at her, resolute in his stance.

"It's done. I will not let you face this alone and I know for a fact that as team we can beat this."

She was franticly looking around, trying to distance herself as much from him as she could so he wouldn't develop the symptoms too soon for him to get out of her. It didn't matter because he wouldn't be leaving.

"Fitz there isn't anything we can do, you have to get out, maybe there is still a chance that you haven't been infected."

She was making a shooing motion with her hands and it just made him smile despite the situation.

"Do you really think I would leave? Let's think about this, the problem at hand." he suggested.

She turned to anger instead.

"What is there to think about? It is an alien virus, killing everyone in contact. Those men didn't survive only an alien organism can withstand it."

He was stunned by her outburst for a second before it came to him.

"The chitari."

She looked at him dumb folded before the slow realization crept in.

"I could create an antiserum if I take the cells from the inside of the helmet. There is still time."

He didn't bother to look at her as he was already working to retrieve it. It was a small chance but it had to work.

His footsteps were eating up the distance and in the next moment he was carrying the helmet with him, but when he returned Jemma was nowhere to be seen in the lab. The speed in which he administrated the antidote may have been a rash thing but he did it all the while calling Ward to meet him down here and find Jemma in the meantime.

He heard the cargo door open but didn't pay any attention to it, until out of the corner of his eyes he saw Jemma standing on the edge. The moment stood frozen for him, before she turned and gave him a small smile and let her body lean to the outer side.

In that moment Ward came crashing through and only looked at Fitz for conformation.

"She jumped Ward. I made the serum but she jumped."

The hollow word left him. He saw Ward quickly taking the parachute and reaching for the serum from him.

"Give it here!"

He locked eyes with him and understood what he wanted to do. He quickly gave him the serum and while he put on his parachute he took the other injector and injected Ward.

"I don't know if it will work but just to be safe."

In the next second Ward was diving out of the plane and after Jemma. He didn't think he was going to make it, but if he had learned one thing about Ward was that he did make the impossible possible. His feet crumpled beneath him and he was left leaning on his table just counting seconds.

He shouldn't be so attached to this all, to her. Still, his heart and mind couldn't seem to agree and he felt like his lungs were on fire. It didn't matter what she would think of him later when she ultimately found out but he needed her here. He needed her safe, above everything else.

Soon he heard footsteps from afar and saw Skye as she neared.

"He made it."

She went to her knees to help him up, but his body just wouldn't listen.

"She's going to be fine, the antiserum worked Fitz. You saved her.""

No he didn't do anything of sort. He was frozen while Ward managed to do what needed to be done. Like he always did.

"No I didn't, but thanks for saying it."

Skye was confused for a second but not before he asked for her comms.

"I want to talk to Ward."

She gave him the small radio that was intervened on Wards frequency.

"Hey Ward?"

The words were not lauder than a whisper but he knew he heard him.

"Fitz?"

He wanted to say many things. How it was wrong what they were doing, that they found family here and it was the right thing to tell them what is going to happen down the line, but only one thing he managed.

"Thanks."

He knew Ward would understand what he meant and how much it meant to him what he just did, because looking at Skye in that moment if anyone understood it was Ward. After a moment of radio silence he heard him respond.

"Don't mention it."

-oo-

Fitz was waiting in the lab, cleaning and making sure everything was in order until Ward and Jemma return. He heard the lab doors and saw to his surprise that it was Ward who came to see him.

Slowly and surely he walked in and stopped on the other side of the workbench. He watched for a few seconds what Fitz was doing before he spoke.

"It worked."

Fitz only managed to inspect his work before facing him.

"Yes, well didn't think it would work a 100% but-"

He knew that what Ward has done was highly dangerous and maybe not well thought out but he was grateful.

"I trusted you did it right. Good job Fitz."

He still couldn't understand what made Ward do such a thing in a blink of an eye even though he knew that Fitz might have gotten it wrong and they both would've ended infected and dead.

"Why'd you do it Ward?"

He was silent, obviously contemplating his answer before looking at him and he knew that Ward knew everything he was trying to hide.

"Because she is important to you…"

He was surprised by his statement but before he could say anything more, Ward just shook his head and turned to leave.

"…and that makes her important to me."

The door of the lab opened and Jemma and Skye walked in. Skye looked at Ward with a critical look, quickly examining if he was hurt before he passed her and she quickly followed him out.

That left Jemma and him alone.

"Hey Fitz."

It was the attentiveness and care in which she said his name that had his attention but he felt the surge of anger at her for being so careless.

"You had no right to do that Jemma. I told you we would handle it together and you do something as reckless as jumping off a plane. Don't expect me to jump after you the next time you decide to take flight."

He turned to his experiment, trying to hold the growing panic inside, before he felt to hands wrap themselves around him from behind and a warm body aligned to his.

"I'm so sorry."

She whispered and he could feel how her tears dampened his shirt and he put his hand over hers in comfort.

"Yeah well, just don't let it happen again."

She shook her head against his back and he felt a weight slowly being lifted, replaced with relief. He was in big trouble and he wasn't sure he minded. Somehow her being here was worth everything.

-oo-

He was returning to his bunk when he heard Skye's voice.

"You know you were sort of like James Bond today, Ward. One might find your actions heroic."

He heard Ward snort at her obvious praise.

"Yeah, don't kid yourself Skye. If you knew me you wouldn't be claiming that."

She only laughed at his crossness and Fitz saw her nudge him as they played battleships in the front of the plane. She guessed another one of his placements and Ward showed a clear anger at his loss.

"Well let's get to know you, mister super-agent Ward. What does a man like yourself like to do in your down time, save kitten and helpless children?"

"I don't."

He immediately knew that Ward would close up, so before he managed to do so he sat next to him in one of the seats.

"He likes to polish his Magnum .45 as he waits for his next big kill."

Then he did a poor imitation of Clint Eastwood.

"You got to ask yourself, do you feel lucky? Well do you, punk?"

Skye laughed at his antics and Ward gave him the good old stink eye. He decided these two needed pushing in the right direction and after what Ward did for him he needed to return the favor in a more abstract manner.

Either way Skye was enjoying their little banter.

"Aw come on Ward don't be like that. There are more bad guys out there just waiting for you to punch their lights out, no gun needed."

He only shook his head at the two of them.

"You know you two need to find better things to do then to gang up on me. Act like agents for Christ sake."

He felt a slight shoulder tap and he looked up to see Jemma standing there.

"Yes, because we all need to be like agent 'I could destroy you with my pinky' Ward."

He laughed the moment she tried to say it sternly but it looked more like she was scolding a child.

"What, now its three against one."

Before he could jump in, Skye retaliated.

"Don't worry Ward, I'll take your side."

Then they locked their gaze and he felt as if some unknown communication was happening that him and Jemma should be privy to, so he said so.

"Yeah we know when we are not wanted, so we'll mind our own business."

Before he could stand up, Ward pulled him back.

"No, you guys are joining us on a game of Battleships. I am tired of being destroyed by Skye so now we can team up."

No negotiation was needed as he moved to sit where Skye did and she went to sit next to Ward, while Jemma sat next to him. He pushed the map between them as did Skye and Ward with theirs. Shuffling closer they made it seem like they were planning a huge strategy, all the while Ward and Skye did the same.

"Ready to get blown of the map FitzSimmons?"

He and Jemma just smiled confidently.

"You do know that the British are masterful at sea combat. Skye, Ward ready to spend some time at the bottom of the ocean?"

The game soon began and soon the laughter began as they tried to outwit and beat each other.

-oo-


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

They were lounging after another mission when Coulson arrived. The stern lines could not be ignored and in the next moment he had everyone's attention. It didn't hurt that his presence demanded respect and Fitz felt it. Coulson only took a moment before starting the debriefing.

"For the past couple of months we had tried to make a dent in Centipedes plan's and structure. We had managed to intercept and take down a large number of facilities they were stationed at. In them we found all kinds of experiments that were conducted on the human participants"

He remembered it well, all those cases piling up, one after another. The sick nature that once more reminded him of the lengths people would go for power and progress. Still, he remembered the rush when a discovery was just beyond his grasp and he wondered. Would he do the same? Be the same monster Coulson was describing right now.

He had come to HYDRA to discover how far he could push the boundaries of science and maybe discover whatever it is that he was searching for. The odd thing was that he felt more at peace at Shield, didn't feel so uncomfortable or under pressure and he had friends. A tight group of friends that he would be proud to call family. He felt as if he spaced out for too long and only caught the last snippet of Coulson's speech.

"-that is why I have requested the help of one John Garrett."

That name sounded somewhat familiar to Fitz but he couldn't exactly place it. That was until Coulson filled in the gap.

"I am sure you'll be glad to see your SO agent Ward."

That was something he didn't know. Maybe it was just some elaborate backstory Ward had come up with but suddenly he felt a wave of unease in him and couldn't help but wonder if things were going to get complicated.

He glanced at Ward and saw the man slightly smile at Coulson and nod at in agreement. Skye on the other hand seemed much more curious as was he. Fitz didn't know much about Ward, more importantly what Ward didn't want to share and this looked like one of those things.

Somehow this in Fitz's mind was a vital piece of information, a sign of things moving in what direction he didn't know but he sensed nothing good could come of it. Skye was, as always, the one without any social boundaries and asked what they all wanted to know.

"So Ward had an SO. We all thought you were engineered for greatness. You know, straight out of box kind of thing."

He only glanced at her, the slow frown building on his face.

"Come on, as my SO you are obligated to share."

Ward still remained as unaffected as ever, even though if you looked closer you could see the amusement underneath, watching Skye plead with him. As Fitz said before he wasn't the only one affected here.

"He is the man who helped me become what I am today."

Fitz could only imagine what that meant and before he could ask anything, Skye went to place some jabs of her own.

"So he didn't have to do much."

Fitz couldn't help but smiled at the ever energetic brunette. If anyone could get Ward out of his comfort zone it sure was her.

"Yeah Ward, considering that you are still evolved as your average primate."

Skye joined in laughter as they shared their common goal, annoying Ward to death. He in turn, only went along with it. As much as he hated them for cracking jokes at him, he never got angry. Always just stood there and let them have it.

"Yeah you both talk mighty, but how about we talk about your upbringing?""

That quickly set the silence in motion as both he and Skye clammed up. That was the door better left unopened.

"Fine we will let you go. You are relieved. This time."

Fitz made a dramatic motion of dismissal and left the small gathering. It wasn't like he was being rude or anything. It was now time for Coulson and May to hash out the plans and he just wasn't necessary, at least not at the moment. In the meantime he could be of bigger use in the lab. That Jemma was there had no effect on him whatsoever. No sir. He was an impenetrable force and when she looked up from her study, his impenetrable force plummeted like a deck of cards.

He was a wuss.

"Hey Fitz."

Sure it's not like he lost the ability to speak when she was near him. No it is more that he tends to turn into a babbling idiot.

"Jemma, I didn't know you'd be here. Thought you'd be up there, at the gathering. You know listening at plans and stuff. I mean, uh, hey you."

Brilliant. The hole just couldn't be big enough to swallow him.

"Come help me out Fitz."

Even though he was shaking his head, his feet took him beside her. Like he didn't know that would happen.

"Sure, why not."

What could possibly go wrong.

The fact that he was spending time with Jemma was never a bad thing but if his rather poor detective skills don't deceive him he may think she was trying to pry information from him, about him or something else, he couldn't tell.

"So Wards SO is coming to help us out, probably good, because we need all hands on deck on this matter. All those people being used and experimented on, such a horrible thing."

Horrible as it sounded, he couldn't say if he would've done differently than them. As a scientist he tried to keep an open mind and liked to think he wouldn't do some things but the curiosity of discovery was just too big to be ignored sometimes. Maybe he would fall in that trap.

"It sure is, but on some level I understand them. The need to push forward and discover what it all means, it is tempting."

She looked up from her little experiment and regarded him for a moment, then shook her head.

"No I don't think so. You are just not that type of person Fitz."

The confidence of that statement brought him out of the loop. He knew they all had gotten closer but for her to analyze and understand his behavior so quickly was something he was surprised by.

"You really think so?"

This time she was focused on her task, tinkering with the small scalpel on a piece of tissue.

"Yes I am, I believe you are hiding something, but that something has nothing to do with pursuit of power and general lack of morals. There is more to you than meets the eye but that is just not it."

Once more he was there gaping like a fish and unable to process how she could read all that from him. He thought he was being extra careful but obviously he was just kidding himself.

"I can see you are struggling with something Fitz and I am here to help if you need it."

His breath was caught in his lungs, forming words was beyond him at this moment. A couple of failed attempts to dry swallow and get some coherent thought in his head were stampeded by the ringing in his ears.

On the other hand she seemed oblivious to what he said and just continues her little though process.

"Also I could never see myself doing those kinds of things. I specialize in biochemistry but still I know what boundaries to push and when to leave it alone. There is a difference between doing good and just being plain ignorant of the damage you are creating now for some bigger cause later. That is nothing but an excuse."

She gave up on her study and turned her attention to him fully.

"A good scientist knows that one life is as valuable as all the others. The precious complexity was always there and we just read its maps. The permissions we give to ourselves do deform and defy the parameters of said maps is what creates a mad and irresponsible scientists instead of the ones that respect the subject and the science."

There it was. One thing he just couldn't reason with himself. How far was he willing to go and here she saw through it and made the same conclusion he always debated with himself. That he doesn't stand what Centipede or even HYDRA stands for. The end justifies the means. A simple fact - he wasn't one of them. Maybe at first, but not anymore and definitely not after the time he had spent with Shield.

"Perhaps you are right Jemma. I tried to make a distinction but sometimes I am just not able to. I don't know if it was the place or the people but I always made myself believe I should be one of those. Like the ones who go to the end, no matter the consequences."

She understood him; the sympathy so clear in her eyes as his was when he was examining the carnage that organization like Centipede left behind. Finally, he had someone who understood.

"I know that you are not like them Fitz. You are brilliant and you know that we can find an answer on our own without putting everything we stand for in question. Centipede just doesn't want to."

The comfort he felt was palpable and it wrapped around him like a safe blanket. He had found friends and family here at Shield. Now, standing before Jemma he came to realize that he found something more.

"I know, and together we can overcome anything. Am I right Jemma?"

She smiled, full and bright at him and he couldn't help but wonder where she was all his life. She would've been the one to lead him out of the darkness, before he made the mistake of joining HYDRA and before he began to question who he was. Maybe it wasn't too late. Looking at her he couldn't help but wish it so.

In the last couple of months he was here undercover with Ward, they had managed to secure a back door to Shields information grid and inform them of any development when it came to dealing with Centipede and the benefits of experiments they were conducting. HYDRA only wanted to see if they can exploit the technology for themselves. By then he had realized that he was on the wrong side.

"You bet. We are going to be the backbone of this entire operation and we will make sure things like that don't happen to anyone."

The silent agreement made him feel like he was finally where he belonged and it made him determined what he planned to do next. Before he had a chance to say anything more Jemma spoke.

"I do wonder about what kinds of stories Wards SO will share. Some funny ones I do hope, so we can nag him about it. Ward is always so serious and I do hope that when his mentor arrives he will be more at ease."

Jemma's good intentions brought Fitz back to reality. The thing was, he didn't know much about Ward's younger days. They were more companions through the misery of HYDRA program more then anything. They bonded over the coldness and detachment that the organization was built under. How nobody dared to step out of their predicted box and that even though Fitz liked to share about his humble beginnings in science Ward was reluctant to sympathize or over share anything he didn't want to.

As good of an agent Ward was he couldn't help but wonder if he planned all of this, from recruiting him under his wing to them working together on the infiltration of Shield. Maybe he knew Fitz would crack under the pressure and wanted someone to drag him to the other side. Now he was growing paranoid but it also didn't stop him from what he was about to do.

"Let's hope you are right Jemma. I got to go, but I will talk to you later."

She seemed a bit disappointed about him leaving but she nodded a second later.

"There is something else you are hiding Fitz, but I do hope it doesn't burden you for much longer."

He could only nod at her, before saying, "Hopefully soon, I will tell you everything. If to anyone I will confide in you Jemma. You have become someone very important to me."

She smiled at him and he couldn't help but return it.

"As you have to me Fitz."

With that he left, as much as he didn't want to. He knew now was not the time, because if he ever managed to gather the courage to tell her how he really felt then he didn't want any lies between them.

His footsteps led him to the lower deck of the plane where he quickly connected to the main server and searched for the back door he created to feed the information with his modified chip to HYDRA. He knew that with arrival of Garrett things were probably moving up the table and he couldn't in good conscience let that happen.

Ward may be fine with it but he wasn't. He hadn't discussed anything with him, but he figured that the sooner he stopped this at least the damage they deal won't be as big as it could be. His fingers flew over the keys and before he could stop it he heard footsteps behind him.

"What are you doing?"

-oo-

He let out a shaky breath and turned towards the voice. Ward was standing, casually leaning on the far wall. The claws of fear slowly gripped Fitz but he refused to back down.

"Nothing much."

Ward only raised an eyebrow and motioned at the servers terminal.

"Really? Because it looked like you were trying to close the backdoor we specifically made for our mission Fitz."

Before he could tangle himself into a bigger lie, he decided to admit it. HYDRA was evil and he couldn't be on their side anymore.

"It is. I mean it was what I was doing. HYDRA is not the organization we want to be working for Ward."

His face was just a blank canvas, nothing to read how he felt about it.

"Have you read the reports, things they care about and want to do? Nothing in it fits the things I wanted to do. I wanted to help protect the world not dominate it."

Soon his thoughts jumbled and he rushed his explanation at non responsiveness of his friend.

"We have to make this right Ward. The damage we dealt is already huge and we should help salvage what we can. We don't want these people dead. Ward. This is not what we signed up for."

In the next moment he was pushed against the wall, his throat squeezed by Ward's elbow as he slowly pressed tighter and felt the nausea and dizziness take over his vision. Ward kept his cool as he spoke.

"This is what we signed up for. What did you think we were doing here Fitz? Now, Garrett is coming soon on board and we will commence the second stage of the operation. You will not screw this up for me."

While his vision was slowly fading he moved his other hand towards the station, not even trying to break free from Wards hold. He looked at his emotionless face and just knew that this is where they paths divided. Still, he was his friend and he wanted to get through to him.

"You want to see the people who you shared everything with, uh, die. Not just faceless individuals, friends, colleges… People on this plane, uh, Coulson, May, Simmons. The ones you care for."

Ward only kept tightening his hold, the darkness was slowly coming. He felt disoriented and ready to vomit. Still, he concentrated on the couple of more keys before he finished his order.

"What about Skye, Ward? Want her to die?"

In the small window of opportunity Ward lessened his grip and it was enough for Fitz to stretch his hand to the station and confirm his code. The emergency lights went on and Ward looked at him with rage just simmering under surface.

"What did you do!?"

He just chuckled and took a small pleasure in outsmarting Ward.

"I closed the backdoor and alerted Shield of HYDRA presence in their systems. Also the list of all the operatives I know is just being uploaded to their network. Say hi for me."

The anger was palpable and before he knew what was going on there was a blinding pain to the side of his head and then the darkness followed.

-oo-


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Come on Fitz, wake up."

He slowly blinked the drowsiness and looked to the right where he saw Jemma standing over him looking concerned and worried. He tried to say something but no words came out. When he tried to outstretch his hand to grasp hers he felt that restrains on his wrists. He was restrained and was unable to move. The med bay bed he was tied to was the one on their plane.

When he looked back at her, he saw the hurt and sadness and he just couldn't remember why.

"How could you do this Fitz? We trusted you. I trusted you."

In the next moment Skye came in followed by Coulson and May.

"Yeah, he is a traitor, nothing but a pawn of HYDRA. A man without morals or conscience."

He struggled with the strains wanting to explain that he didn't want to but was a fool that followed at first until he realized what HYDRA was. The disappointment on their faces just paralyzed him and he just laid there as they called him all kinds of horrible things. That was until he heard the door open and a hand with a gun that shot everyone in the room as they could only watch with the same hurt the person who was pulling the trigger.

He tried to see who it was and in the next moment he saw it was Ward, the same detached look on his face. The one of a calculated killer. He looked over their bodies and then back at him before pointing the gun at him.

"Yes nothing but HYDRA's puppet."

He squeezed the trigger and just before the pain came he heard him say.

"It was your choice Fitz."

In the next moment he woke up.

He was on a bed, but one that wasn't as familiar to him as the one in his dream. The moment he looked up he realized he was in a rather confined space. But soon the room made sense to him. It was the interrogation room that they moved the table and put the bed on the far side. His hand was handcuffed to the bed post.

He tried to recall what happened and in the next minute or so of brain wrecking he could only gather that after he sabotaged the HYDRA operation and tried to mend some damage Ward came and probably knocked him out. He wondered why Ward also wasn't locked up but maybe they held him somewhere else.

The noise from the other side of the door diverted his attention and soon Coulson walked in and an unknown man followed. He also looked like a senior agent of sort. Coulson sat on the chair and the other agent leaned on the two way mirror.

"I found a rather curious notation from my agents telling me that we have a breach in Shield systems and low and behold you pop out. I got to admit I didn't think that you were ever capable of being anything more than a slightly awkward individual, but I guess appearances can be deceiving."

He figured they got the intel and there was no reason to hide it and before he could make some lame excuse it was better to keep his mouth shut. He knew there would be consequences but he was also curious as to where Ward ended up.

"Where's Ward?"

Coulson looked at him carefully, searching for what Fitz didn't know. He should probably be scared to find out. Soon the other agent jumped in.

"Phil, let's just lock him up. He won't say much as a HYDRA operative, he was obviously caught red handed and no amount of evidence can treat him differently than a traitor."

The familiar way in which he spoke with Coulson left him in unease but he didn't let it show. Coulson also looked unimpressed and then focused his attention back to him.

"So you mind telling me what is on the encrypted folder. We still haven't been able to crack it."

The confusion settled in. What encrypted folder, there was nothing of sort. He had left everything wide open.

"You have probably tried to mask your movement but ran out of time to do so. It is impressive what you managed to do in the short amount of time."

He was so confused that he just didn't understand what was going on. He felt a headache coming on, but before he could try to understand what was going on Coulson spoke.

"As I doubt you will tell me anything of value I will leave you to expert interrogators. I have full confidence we will know everything by tomorrow. I have more urgent matter to attend to."

He just drew a blank about it all. Shouldn't they know everything by now? Coulson stood up and left the room, but the other agent stood there. After a moment of staring he leaned on the mirror and pulled a small device from his jacket and pressed a button. He knew that whatever bad he felt he had experienced this will be ten times worse.

"It looks like you've been trying to hide from us. Gathering intelligence from Shield is a rather impressive feat and I am impressed, but how stupid do you think we are that you can go opening and closing back doors without us knowing."

The man had a rather menacing demeanor in his happy go lucky way of speaking and he just knew a monster was hiding underneath that façade. This was a rather bad place he was in.

"Now you listen to me boy, jeopardizing the integrity of this noble mission we are on is a very stupid move. I am two seconds from pummeling your head into the wall until your brain splatters all over the place."

He took a couple of more steps before he landed a hard punch to his face splitting Fitz's lip in the process.

"You deserved that at least."

Soon another one followed and he felt his neck stringing under the force of the punch.

"Also that was very much deserved. You must wait for my comrade to come and serve you with some punishment I don't want to deal all of it myself."

He cleaned his hand on the bed and looked over the hunched Fitz. The hurt and confusion were immense. He really couldn't tell what was going on and as he gathered his surroundings someone else came inside.

He looked up through the haze and saw Ward standing there.

What was going on?

-oo-

It was still surreal. No matter how many times Fitz had blinked trying to clear the fog from his head, he couldn't make Ward disappear. He really was there and he was talking to the other agent.

"I believe you also want to deal some damage. After all he was your friend Ward. What did I tell you about friends?" the other man was saying.

Ward only looked as impassive and emotionless as ever.

"Never trust them, sir."

The man laughed in response.

"Well I can't blame you. You are still young, plenty to learn. But you should've followed my rules. No attachments, ever."

Ward nodded in response and went to stand before Fitz.

"You caused us a great problem, but maybe it worked out better than I thought. Lift the suspicion of our attack."

Soon things began to clear. It seems like Ward set him up. How, he didn't know and it looked like he was the villain in this story.

"Luckily I managed to encrypt the folder with HYDRA personnel and it is slowly deleting everything from it."

Loud and clear the words rang in his head, but still he couldn't believe it.

"How?"

It was all he managed to push across as his jaw was stinging from the severe punishment from earlier.

"I knocked you out and claimed you were the one who was trying to break into the Shield's system and I ended up catching you before you tried to wipe your tracks. Served me well and good now they are wondering about you as I said that everything you say will just be an elaborate lie. You are on your own Fitz."

The disbelief was clear on his face and he just couldn't grasp the reality. Ward had betrayed him, even after all of this he would never out him. Because it was his decision to get out. Now, it looked like Ward was throwing him to the wolves and it hurt. Ward only glanced at the man next to him.

"Let's leave him here. He's done Garrett."

The man shrugged and mock saluted Ward and left with a wink and a smile. The snakes were out to play. Ward followed him out, but left him with parting words.

"Enjoy the rest of your life Fitz."

With that the door firmly closed and he was left to silence.

-oo-


	8. Chapter 8

-oo-

**Chapter 8**

The cuffs felt stiff around his wrist, but he ignored it as he lay on a rather uncomfortable bed. It was still awkward knowing that he was being watched from the camera and looking at the interrogation table just reminded him how they saw him as a criminal.

He presumes it's been about a week since he was locked up in this entrapment and it left him as sluggish and exhausted as ever. Lies were sure to catch up with you sooner or later. Sooner was what life had in store for him it seemed.

For the past couple of days he had tried explaining himself to Coulson, May and even Ward once more but it was all for naught. Now he almost felt resigned to just be in this small little space and not do anything of any sort. That was before he felt the tremors of the plane and was quickly tossed over to the side with the mirror.

He really wasn't enjoying his stay here. His body was aching in all the wrong ways and he had trouble keeping himself upright. His hand was stuck on the bed post but his body was splayed all the way to the mirror. He groaned at the obvious discomfort. He really has had enough. Quickly maneuvering himself back and making quick motion with his wrist and pressing down with his palms he felt the mechanism strain and release. He rubbed his sour wrist and looked around. He didn't want to do so he would give further evidence that he was a traitor but now he felt no choice.

Another tremor and he was struck at how no one came in here to check on him and his release from his restraints, but still nothing. Soon he heard the door slowly open and a surprising guest came in. Thick with emotion his voice spoke but soon he saw they were followed by Ward.

"You will be here until we arrive at our destination. No funny business or else…"

He left them with him.

"God, he is a bastard. I can't believe we ever trusted that guy."

Skye and Jemma were in their little tirade that they actually forgot that he was in this little prison. Their back stiffened and he figured it finally crossed their minds. Turning around and seeing him, they looked at him like trapped animals. Really, does he give off an aura of a man who can do damage? Ward always laughed at his intimidation skill. The next thing they noticed was that he was free of the cuffs and was now staring at them from the bed where he had leaned back and was waiting for all this commotion to stop.

They were cautiously moving towards the interrogation table where they sat on and kept vigilant watch on him. He scoffed at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"Oh come on, really? Am I that intimidating? What can I possible do now?"

They looked at each other, startled by his admission and after a moment Jemma spoke up.

"You are HYDRA. You are always looking for a way in, to carnage and destroy. You are the bad guys."

Skye nodded along her little speech. All Fitz could do was roll his eyes at them.

"Really so I am HYDRA, biggest evil out there."

The two of them nodded and went silent.

"So what happened out there?"

This time it was Skye who spoke up.

"We discovered Garrett was also clairvoyant aka the person members of Centipede answer to, but also he revealed himself to be HYDRA. I assume you know all this as you are one of them. Ward was the one trained by him so before we could capture him, he switched sides and attacked us unawares."

Fitz could only listen. He had imagined he'd be here for a long time but it seemed HYDRA time table was moving forward because of some unknown reason.

"Yeah we got to Garrett because he was starting to act really strange and one thing led to another… but it surprised us that he was HYDRA. I mean he was a longtime friend of Coulson's. Then again we thought you and Ward were ours."

The bitter voice and hurt were enough to drive the guilt at the forefront, but he soon said what was on his mind.

"I am your friend. I mean did you think if I was with them that I'd be locked up here still. I tried to stop all this."

As they listen he could see the uncertainty in their eyes.

"Maybe you just want to infiltrate further and get the rest of information, whatever's left."

He stood up angrily and they grew tense.

"Really, you think that. I was that big of scumbag? I thought you guys know me better than that. I was the one who tried to stop but Ward interfered."

He saw that they doubted everything he said and he figured it was time to be straight with them about everything.

"Make no mistake. I was HYDRA."

The fear was back in their eyes but also curiosity and he figured he should just go on.

"We had a simple task, infiltrate Coulson's team and gather information. That was our job and we did it well."

He went back to sit on the bed all the while keeping his attention on them as they did the same with him.

"You guys know me, the awkward persona doesn't come as a cover. In HYDRA I never fit in so that was why Ward chose me as someone who stood out of sea of white coats. It all changed during my time here and I found friends and a place where I belonged. I wanted to do the right thing when I saw what HYDRA really stood for, but as you see I was too late."

They still didn't say anything, so he turned his attention to Jemma.

"You said I was hiding something, well that is it. I went to Shield academy and we shared a couple of classes together and I was the kid that got expelled because I was conducting unauthorized experiments."

Recognition struck her face and soon she stood to meet him in the middle and he realized that maybe he did the right thing.

"I knew I met you before. You were the one with crazy ideas and understanding of engineering way ahead of anyone there. I know you Fitz."

She was searching something in him and as he meet her gaze he hoped she would find it.

"You know me Jemma."

In the next moment she turned to Skye who was still looking doubtful but when she looked at Jemma she relented.

"Fine, I guess we can let him tag along."

Skye pulled a small device and after she pressed a button a hissing sound was heard and the door opened. He looked more lost than ever. She saw how confused he was.

"Saw them do a similar thing to a van. I stole this from Ward when he led us here."

Now he was even more confused. They were just evaluating to see if he would betray them. Also, the more confusing thing was that he knew Ward and stealing something from that man without him noticing was practically impossible.

Something strange was going on here. Jemma pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Come on Fitz, let's go."

With that he followed them out.

-00-

They tiptoed through the small area hoping to avoid any detection but as they made their way it was obvious it was going to be a difficult task. Now, all Fitz knew was that a distress signal or a clear message to the Shield HQ was going to be the only way they can find some footing in this mess.

The same mess he helped create, but for now he was just not going to think about it. A long list of reasons why they shouldn't be doing this had been formed and abruptly ignored in his head. Now was not the time for caution and slow approach.

First things first, there were a couple of HYDRA operatives stationed here and they needed them gone. He looked at the other two with a question clear on his face. How were they going to do this? Where were Coulson and May? But before he could dwell on it any further he saw Skye open a hidden compartment by ted or and pull out a tazer gun.

Jemma on the other hand opted for a bottle of brandy and he just couldn't help but roll his eyes at their unorthodox methods before grabbing a bottle himself. Then Skye launched her attack while he hit the other one with the bottle over the head. The shock quickly disposed of one and his target also fell from shock. When he moved to stand up Jemma walked up beside him and smashed her bottle over the man's head.

"What was that?"

She only shrugged and said "Never hurts to make sure."

He nodded in agreement and they quickly started to scavenge for a computer that could help them send a distress signal or a message. Jemma seemed to read his mind as she added "Even if we manage to send a distress signal it won't do us much good. The HYDRA has infested so deep into Shield's infrastructure that all Coulson managed to do was disband what was left of Shield in that small window and send them into hiding."

Fitz knew that HYDRA had managed a lot but this he never believed, that it was so severe and that they had practically managed to take down an organization like Shield.

"What are we going to do now?"

Jemma only gave him a compassionate smile before saying what they were all thinking.

"We are on our own."

Skye came with the bag holding the weapons from the two men and gave one to Jemma and kept one for herself. She gave him the tazer gun.

At his questioning look she explained, "I don't fully trust you, even though Jemma does and is willing to give you a chance. This way, if you try to taze one of us, the other can just shoot you in return."

He figured he was on shaky ground with Skye, especially after what happened with Ward. She was closer to him and look what happened. He understood that but still she gave him more than he thought he deserved. When this was all over and he somehow managed to make it on the other side there'd be a cell with his name on it waiting. Of that much he was sure.

Better that then be a psychopathic murderer who helped an age old organization establish its dominance in the world.

"I can live with that."

Skye moved away and after a sweep of the small area they found nothing that could help them along. There was one thing that still bugged him. He turned to Jemma.

"Where are Coulson and May?"

She paid little attention to what he said, but answered anyway.

"He and May managed to leave before all this mess started, they escaped before the plane took off the ground. They went to find Providence and get some sort of back up is all we know."

He nodded having never heard of that base, he figured it must have been top secret and was not to be reached easily. Hopefully they find it in time, because here they had little chance of making a successful escape.

The moment they came into the cargo area Skye, Jemma and him following, they were attacked. Before they could react Ward had taken the gun from Skye, kicked the other one from Jemma's hand and all Fitz could do was point his at Ward's head. Before he could think of firing he placed his gun on Skye's temple, his intention clear.

"If you want to get out of this alive Fitz, lower the gun and kick it slowly away from you."

The moment he did that they were gone, so he had to place his trust in his instinct.

"You wouldn't hurt Skye, Ward. We both know that."

Ward's face remained stoic, but he did let a small sigh before pointing his gun at Jemma.

"You are right Fitz I wouldn't hurt Skye, but we both know that Jemma is a different matter to you."

Before he was even aware of what he was doing on he had his gun kicked away. It was really asking too much for him to hold his ground and escape this place. Lady luck had come to an end. In the next moment Skye had elbowed Ward and as he was being disoriented she yelled, "Run guys."

He and Jemma didn't need to be told twice and they took off. Fitz glanced back and saw that before Skye could flee Ward had her knocked unconscious. So much for never hurting Skye. Then he was coming after them. Ward was going to catch up to them and they needed a way out and soon. A thought came to him and he led Jemma down the corridor.

"Quickly, this way!"

She followed him and soon they unlocked the panned from one of the storage pods. He moved her inside as he heard the approaching footsteps. Quickly he followed inside and manually locked the pod just in time to see Ward bang his fist on the door in outrage.

"Damn it Fitz!"

The frustration on his face clearly indicated that he was losing his patience about this entire mission. He figured he should try to reason, he was his friend.

"Ward you are not seeing things clearly. You can't think this is the right way."

The stone mask was ever present and he just couldn't seem to get through to him. The radio sounded Garrett's voice and just hearing the man made him angry. The man who made Ward into this monster. He was sure of it.

"I heard there were complications. Ward, tell me you have the situation under control. I believe we have more important matters to attend."

Ward snapped out of his staring contest with the two of them and answered.

"It's being handled sir. Skye had been neutralized, only have the other two left."

The sound of static followed before an order came through.

"They are like rats always searching their way out of a maze. Reina said we needed Skye, get rid of those two. No more complications Ward."

The sound of static was loud in his ears before Ward spoke up.

"You should've just given up Fitz. You'd be in that cell but alive for another day. I gave you plenty of opportunities to not mess it up but you constantly did. Now, you are out of time."

With that he started activating the panel and soon the pod was starting to make hissing noise as it was being readied to eject. He was really going to do it.

"Ward don't do it! Do you understand where we are, if you drop us of we will die, no way can we make the drop. I thought you were better than this!"

He felt Jemma tremble beside him in fear and felt his anger rise. All of it was for nothing, he had managed to change nothing. The panel made the accepting noise and he knew that all he needed to do was press a button and they were gone. He was still contemplating something.

"I have tried to do the right thing, but I was weak, started to see things differently. Made all that effort I put in when I was younger count for nothing. We are who we are and now it is time to eradicate that weakness, so I never have to doubt myself again. In the end all of it was for nothing Fitz."

The disbelief was clear on his face, because the things he was saying just didn't belong to a man who had basically showed him a way out of monotone and boring corporate system. They were a team and now all of it was in shambles.

"All of that was for nothing Ward? Everything we came through, what we did was for nothing? Now you can't even look me in the eyes as you betray everything we valued and wanted to protect. I may be the traitor but you are the one who has betrayed everything!"

He was startled as Ward met his gaze, the emotionless mask still in place as he answered his tirade.

"End of the line Fitz."

With that confirming click was heard and the force propelled the container out. He quickly grasped Jemma's hand as he saw her panicked look, he felt his own rise and squeezed hers in return. With that he felt weightless for a split second before the force crashed him to the other side. He took the rope that was lying and before the container hit the ground he strapped the securely around the backboard. When he was about to finish he felt the impact and a searing pain.

The impact pushed the air from his lungs and then there was nothing.


	9. Chapter 9

-00-

**Chapter 9**

The fog slowly cleared from his mind, he tried to get a bearing on his surrounding but a sharp pain in his arm and right leg stopped him from doing so. He felt groggy at best and disorientation didn't help the matters. Everything was dark. He quickly moved around and found the emergency light, which, thankfully, these pods had.

"Jemma?"

He looked around and saw her lying on her side. Moving as quickly as his current state allowed him he went to her and examined her injuries. Nothing major, a few bumps and bruises and he let out a sigh of relief when he placed his fingers to check her pulse and found it beating. She was just knocked unconscious. Placing her gently back on her side so she doesn't hurt herself any further he examined the situation.

The storage pod had a lot of things packed and they could help him come up with the solution.

"Come on, come on."

He rummaged through but found nothing of use, only thing that was helpful was a makeshift slingshot for his broken arm. His leg probably suffered from a fracture but he couldn't be bothered to look more extensively. It was time to focus on the escape plan.

He saw an EKG device and a thought came to mind. He could try and wire it so it would send out a distress call, sure it may be a weak signal but they were still sinking so maybe there was time. As he worked on the small device he felt the time running out and no matter how he tried to hold on to the belief that they could make it, it slowly started to vain. After what seemed like an hour he came to the realization that it was a frequency that probably here no one was listening or looking for. That lead to another disappointment, He went over to look for supplies at least, something to sustain them here.

No matter how he looked he couldn't find anything that would spark a plan and fear grew along the frustration.

"Damn it."

He tossed the empty box to the far corner. The pain in his arm was increasing and his leg couldn't hold him for much longer. He looked over at Jemma before lowering himself to the ground. He watched as the small rays of light began to shrink the lower they sank. Soon it was complete darkness. He watched resigned to their fate, as the last light faded, so did their chance for making it out of here.

No distress call, no supplies to help them survive.

It left him melancholic and his thoughts roamed through the memories. Memories of his recruitment and hope he once had to make things better, discover greatness tat the end of the road and the realization that it had all fallen apart. Ward was right, he was weak and he failed. As hard as it was to die with that knowledge, it is even harder to finally admit what Ward did. His friend had betrayed him and left him to die. Such a Shakespearian fate that he refused to acknowledge it.

He looked over to Jemma and saw that she was slowly coming too. He felt his heartbeat speed up as she slowly pulled herself up to examine their surroundings. Too late for that, for them. She was still confused, probably didn't think they'd survive the impact. He started to explain, just to keep his mind clear from pain that his arm was causing him.

"On impact, the atmospheric adaptation must have tried to compensate. We slowly sank as it increased the density of outer walls."

She looked at him, concerned and worried. He was way past that now.

"By the density of the ray light and how quickly it dispersed and disappeared I managed to calculate the speed by which we are descending. We're at least 90 feet down, as you can't see the surface anymore."

She was still confused, questioning, and hopeful and as much as he didn't want to take it away, he knew where they stood.

"Fitz, how did we survive the fall?"

Explain, that he could do, just to delay the inevitable conclusion.

"The plane must have been in vertical flight mode, flying low. I managed to strap us to one of the backboards before we hit."

He glanced at his arm, the pain present as a long distant memory reminded him of a different time.

"I broke my arm same two places I broke it in second grade which is strange."

He can feel himself losing focus. Jemma on the other hand chuckled at their good fortune. One, he sadly couldn't share with her.

"I thought we were dead for sure, Fitz. We're so lucky. Now we just need to figure a way out of here."

She looked at him, all hopeful and waiting for him to hash out a plan for their grand escape.

"We'll find a way out of here, right?"

He almost wanted to chuckle, always the one with the bad news. It never seemed to change, the brains only served for him to know the facts of their demise and now he really didn't want to.

"And then we'd be in the middle of the ocean with the bends and no floatation and no one looking for us. I already spent an hour trying to rig the wireless signals on the EKG to send out a weak distress call before remembering that it's a frequency and no one's listening."

He glanced at the offending machine that just wouldn't give him what he wanted and even that wasn't their main problem here.

"And that's not the problem. The problem is that there aren't many supplies left in here, so I've already done the math."

She interrupted him, fierce and fearful at the same time.

"Enough with the math. What are you saying?"

He looked at her hope vanishing and the fear slowly take over what was left of a rational thought. He did that too, but it needed to be said.

"There is no way out Jemma."

He didn't want to see it, but there it was. The crushing realization as she said.

"We are going to die here."

-oo-

The next few moments were spent in silence and their own head. Basically that was the one place he didn't want to be at now so the words left his mouth.

"I'm hungry."

Instead of an angry retort all he heard was a soft reply.

"Me too. Scared and hungry."

He saw the fear and lifted his other arm in her direction. Jemma seemed to understand and came to sit by his side, while he wrapped his hand around her for comfort. Soon she spoke.

"What do you think death is like?"

He had time to think about that one since they were in this entrapment.

"I don't know, heard there were pleasant ways to die, drowning Is supposed to be like that."

He felt her nod her head from his side and couldn't help but finish the sentence.

"After the water fills your lungs apparently."

To move away from the grimness, he tried a different approach. She beat him to the punch. She was speaking mostly to herself but he enjoyed it anyways.

"Well, my mum always said that you shouldn't be afraid because it's just like the way life was before you were born which wasn't that bad, was it? That's sweet. Though, apparently, I was miserable before I was born upside down, umbilical cord all wrapped around my head. Yeah, well, she meant pre-conception, of course I know."

He started his little metaphor.

"I like to think about the first law of thermodynamics, that no energy in the universe is created. None is created, none is destroyed."

She seemed to catch his train of thought, like always, and continued.

"That means that every bit of energy inside us, every particle will go on to be a part of something else, maybe live as a dragonish, a microbe, maybe burn in a supernova and every part of us now was once a part of some other thing - a moon, a storm cloud, a mammoth."

He couldn't help but add as he softly moved his hand over her shoulder, tracing a pattern in a comfort manner.

"A monkey."

He felt her smile and couldn't help but enjoy the small moment.

"A monkey."

She spoke in agreement. He just couldn't help but mourn the time lost. Time lost in having her as a college, a friend. He almost missed what she said next.

"Thousands and thousands of other beautiful things that were just as terrified to die as we are."

He couldn't help but marvel at the picture she was painting and add a little bit of his own.

"We gave them new life, a good one I hope."

The next thing she said made his entire being slow down to a halt.

"It's fitting we're down here together, Fitz."

He was terrified that she was here with him, wouldn't want her anywhere near this desperate situation but also didn't want anyone else by his side. So in return he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and looked towards the world outside.

"This is where all life began on our planet, anyway."

She also leaned to look at the incredible mystery outside, the other side.

"Just outside that glass."

Then it clicked. Glass. That was it. He nudged her a bit away from him.

"Jemma?"

She looked up towards him and he was once more caught by how beautiful she was, but now was not the moment to dwell on it. Not now when he could still save her.

"What Fitz?"

He let her follow his gaze towards the offending object.

"The glass!"

After a moment she caught up, like she always did.

"The glass Fitz."

He quickly reasoned their train of thought. Their thought and sentences joining into one.

"It's bulletproof, pressure-resistant glass, but the seal is 4-hydroxy. If we use medical ethanol it has a low flash point, burns hotter and we could use the defibrillator as an ignition source and build a compressed explosive-o ignite the seal, the outside pressure will - blow the window in!"

She felt the same elation he did and in the next moment she hugged him tight. He would've loved to stay longer but she was squeezing his broken arm and it hurt like hell. So he moved away.

"That hurts my arm."

She was concerned for a moment, but saw him smiling and couldn't help but chuckle as she apologized.

"Sorry, sorry."

She moved to stand up and clasped her hand in excitement.

"Okay. Now that we know where to start there's a whole new set of problems, but where do we start?"

The question was sound and this time he had an answer.

In a matter of minutes he had the whole thing set up, after some deliberation he decided that by his calculation he wasn't getting out of this one and it didn't matter. He had already made peace with it.

He grabbed her shoulder to focus her attention on him. He took a deep breath, released the tension and started with the most difficult and easiest thing he had to do in his life.

"Now, when I press that power button the window will blow in, and water will rush inwards. The wind's going to be knocked right out of us."

She nodded as she followed along. He showed the small oxygen tank.

"Now, this is near empty, but I've rigged it to let out a burst of very high pressure should force a breath into your lungs, but you have to hold on to it, okay? Hold on tight."

She was tense, words probably were harder to speak, the lack of oxygen in the pod making it difficult to think properly. Now, he had to say something that will surely make this the most difficult task he ever did.

"It should be enough to get you up the 90 feet or so."

The confusion settled in like he knew it would and the question bubbled from her lips.

"One breath? But there's two of us."

The resolution he felt then as he saw her looking lost was stronger than anything he ever felt. He knew that he would do whatever it takes, but now he could literally feel it in his bones. It made all of this easier to do. Breathing deeply, he tried to maintain his focus on the task at hand.

"Yeah, I've done the math. That's why you're taking it. You're a better swimmer, anyway."

The outright disbelief at him even suggesting something would've made him chuckle if they were anywhere else.

"No."

He had to reason with her. She had to see.

"Jemma."

But she wouldn't hear it. She just shook her hand as if trying to wipe away even the thought about it.

"No! I'm not leaving you here. That's ridiculous. We need a new plan."

If there was anything else, he would've done it. He had tried numerous ways when she was unconscious to come with the solution but this was the only way out.

"We're not discussing it, okay? You're taking it end of story."

She had to live, nothing else mattered. He will make it so.

"I couldn't live if you didn't."

She desperately clutched at his shoulders, trying to convey how desperate and same she felt.

"Well, I feel the same way. There has to be another way."

In amazement he felt his resolve crumbling, but not doing all of this but how she could make him change his mind on anything except on this.

"You are taking it Jemma."

She looked like a trapped animal, like she was a moment from spilling something she shouldn't.

"Why would you make me do this? You're my best friend in the world!"

He was seeing her desperation, her need to keep him alive and he knew now was the moment. It was a shame they didn't have time.

"Yeah, and you're more than that, Jemma. I couldn't find the courage to tell you."

He saw her tears and it just doubled his resolve. She just couldn't seem to get a hold of herself.

"So please, let me show you."

By then, she was sobbing, holding on to him for dear life. She held on to him, never wanting to let him go and he just moved his hands to push the tank in her hand and whispered reassuring words to her. He needed her to live, as simple as that.

"It's okay. It's going to be okay."

He tried to pry her from himself but she wouldn't listen whispering 'no' and holding on to him.

"You know I love you, right?"

She gazed at him with hear tear strained eyes and before he changed his mind he kissed her. He poured everything in that one kiss he will ever have. He wanted to show her that everything will be alright as long as she lived. The warmth and bliss that enveloped him when she kissed back was something he will remember forever. He will take it with him and never let go. As he deepened the kiss, he felt her relax into him and as much as he wanted to continue he pushed her away and she grasped the oxygen tank looking desperate.

"No."

Before she could grasp him again, he blew the window. The desperate cry rang all the way to his bones.

"No!"

Then there was silence. He had no regrets, he had done all he could to save her. The words that echoed in his head were from a friend.

_End of the line, Fitz_

The end indeed.

-oo-


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are. From the start this was a Leo Fitz story and his development after starting of in Hydra. Many times I wanted to expand it onto all characters but I felt that it would lose the depth and the personal approach that would give us an insight into his struggle. As you have read you could have seen that this was about him finding who he was and what does he stand for. I hope that sometime in the future I will manage to write a continuation of sorts that will be based from Ward POV and how he deals with his choices.
> 
> So nothing more left to be said but thank you and I hope to see you on another story and a new adventure. Enjoy...

-oo-

**Chapter 10**

Once, when Fitz was little he wanted to be a police officer. An awkward kid who never belonged wanted to be the one to uphold the peace and protect those around him. That was until he got his first fire truck then he wanted to be a fireman. A kid, who didn't know better, took to being a fireman as a way to help those in need.

That was all done when he got his first computer, then a scientist was born. It happened right along his first experiment and he knew that was all he ever wanted to do. Still, despite of all that he never had real friends, only people he went to school with. Those people turned into people who he went with to college and then into colleges.

It wasn't until he was recruited into the Hydra organization that he had found a friend. Ward was in his stoic and unimpressed demeanor the first person who valued Fitz more than his work. He liked that Fitz wasn't by the book, his quirky personality that led to cheap jabs and bad jokes. He was happy for a brief period in life.

His mom were proud, he was making strides career wise and he had a friend he could rely on. Albeit that friend never divulged anything he didn't want, but still they shared a bond. A bond of never belonging anywhere and keeping a distance.

It all changed to an even better course when they went to Shield, where he met his other family. People who appreciated him as Ward did, but were more open to share and sympathize.

There he found love.

Here and now he felt as leaving himself to his thoughts had never been a good thing but at least he could hear a steady beat from somewhere and it echoed all around his head.

He could even hear a voice.

"Hey Fitz came to see how you are doing today. Jemma says you are much better. Probably even awake at moment's notice."

It was a woman's voice. It's echo familiar but he couldn't place it.

"You wouldn't believe all we went through in these couple of months. Managed to take down Hydra, don't know how you feel about that. You're okay, but those other members are bananas. We also got some new members; they help out where they can. Some of them had a change of heart when they saw who they were working for."

A sigh escaped her and he felt sad for some reason, like this person's sadness reflected his own.

"Garrett went nuts, but also wasn't the clairvoyant we searched for. He was whatever he needed to be to obtain power. Also he managed to be blasted by Coulson which was a delicious plus in my book, the bastard."

They had won, that was good, but he still couldn't place the voice even thought he could remember all of them.

"Ward was the one who got his ass kicked by Melinda May. Man that woman can throw down. On the other hand he helped me escape when Garrett and Reina wanted to do some experiments on me. I can't think about that now. Managed to rendezvous with Coulson and his team from Providence and with some back up we kicked their asses."

She was silent for a moment before she continued.

"Ward is a real monster for what he did to you guys. Still can't believe he had done that. The way that man makes me feel sometimes... Also, haven't told anyone how I feel about Ward yet. Can't stomach the sympathy I guess. The heart wants what the heart wants, right?"

He tried to reach out and wake up, but could get himself to move in that direction. Just stuck in a complete darkness.

"Maybe I should stop rationalizing his every move and just accept what he is. A monster. It doesn't matter that he helped me escape or that he basically left the back door open for us to hack into their base. It doesn't matter that he spent months before saving my life and getting under my skin."

A quiet sob could be heard and somehow he understood her pain. The betrayal stings to this very moment no matter how much he tried to force himself not to feel. To be like agent Ward.

"I guess I'm the stupid one. Some Shield agent I am, or was. Shield is no more, even though I had my badge for like three seconds before it was garbage."

She seemed to gather herself and he felt her stand up.

"Anyways I'll leave you be. Get better soon, not for my sake but for Jemma. She is a wreck. I always saw you as one entity, doing everything together like you did. You were basically one person FitzSimmons. Get back to that, okay?"

In the next moment he heard the door close and again he was left to the sound of a beat echoing in the distance.

He was left with the information on the outside and he wanted to be up there as well. It was pressuring him and he wanted out. Suddenly he felt a stabbing headache and in the next moment he opened his eyes to a blinding light that made him quickly snap them shut.

After a moment he blinked again and soon the picture became clear on where he was. He was in a hospital.

It looked like a simple room, nothing out of the ordinary. A bed, few machines, a chair next to it and a heartbeat monitor. The sound that echoed before becoming apparent. He slowly tried to sit himself up and felt the heaviness of his body, his muscles sour from not moving them and now he felt like a child learning to do it all over.

He took a small cup of water and drank it. His throat had felt raspy and parched.

The sound of the door opening was enough to grab his attention. There she was, holding a rather strange machine in her hands and talking on about it, not actually looking at the bed.

"This will help you recognize the tone of voice better. I have placed all the lectures that held interest to you and by playing them I hope it will get your mind to cooperate. I know if nothing than out of annoyance so you could correct them. I feel like you always…"

That was when she noticed that he was up, a blank face and the device was clattering on the floor. The bits and piece falling from it. She hadn't moved.

"Hey."

The raspy tone hadn't left. Not using your voice will make you sound like a cigarette addict of 90 years.

"Oh."

That was all it escaped from her as she still stood rooted to her spot. Not knowing what else to do he decided to mention the positive.

"I am glad you are okay Jemma."

That was all it took for her to get to him and kiss him like there was no tomorrow. It left him dazed and he lost all ability of coherent thought. Simply he was lost.

After she decided to let him go only for a moment so she could say "How could you ever think I didn't feel the same?"

He only shrugged his shoulders, once more the soreness could be felt.

"I just assumed."

She quirked an eyebrow at his antics and a smile spread on her face. She was happy.

"That is a weak theory for a scientist, shouldn't you conduct an experiment first before you conclude anything?"

Before he could rattle of his explanation she kissed him again, this time he was ready and simply enjoyed the comfort of being here with her. That it felt like fireworks was just gravy. She looked him in the eye and he knew the words before she said them.

"I love you, Fitz."

Because he was an idiot he got to say.

"Well I concluded that from the experiment moments ago."

Because he was her idiot, she smiled. He knew the things aren't' resolved. Many things stood before them, but he was willing to fight and learn. Now he could say he was where he belonged.

"I love you too."

They enjoyed a moment of simple happiness before a stampede of footsteps could be heard and in came Coulson, May, Skye and couple of blokes he didn't know. All of them had weapon drawn.

"We heard noise, thought it was trouble."

Skye only stood for a second before saying.

"I knew they were making out."

The laughter followed. Yep like a one happy dysfunctional and sometimes evil family.

He smiled back at Jemma and she just looped their hands as the others came to join them. His family nonetheless.

The End

-oo-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. If the inspiration strikes I hope to be writing the said continuation, but for now I'm leaving it here.


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